Jay has not always been our dog, before living with us he lived with a very good friend of ours who had been through some major life changes and could no longer keep him. Before we took him on permanently, we regularly looked after him for days/weeks at a time, and we considered him part of our family before he officially became “our dog”. A big part of his heart still belongs with our friend, when he visits Jay instantly recognises him (in fact, he has just popped round and made Jay do an excitement wee ‘sprinkle’ on the floor), he is such a loving dog. Except if you’re another dog, he doesn’t care for them too much (more on that later…)
Jay quickly settled into life as our dog, he enjoyed all of our attention and walks both locally and further afield. I found out I was pregnant with Sophie about a week after he came to live with us…
Pregnancy was a funny time; suddenly people I barely knew had no filters and felt they could ask/tell me anything; “was it planned?”, “are you sure there isn’t two in there?” and “wow, you’re so big!” were common place in conversation and I generally laughed along or changed the subject. But the question that really got on my nerves was “what will you do with the dog?”, literally anyone that found out in general chatter that we have a staffy/lab cross would ask me this question and I can honestly say it’s the only question that truly upset me (obviously it’s not nice to be told you’re huge, but that is just an unavoidable part of pregnancy).
I know that more times than not, the question was from a place of concern, but I found these comments particularly offensive because:
- Jay is part of our family. I’ve never been overly soppy, and I don’t refer to him as my baby, but nevertheless he is a loved and irreplaceable part of our unit
- I am not stupid enough to not be aware of the reasons for concern, it had crossed my mind that bringing a new baby home to a dog would have its problems and that we would need to watch his behaviour and responses carefully
Obviously, we kept Jay! There really was no other option. When people made their comments I initially became very defensive, explaining how loving Jay is, and how I would be ensuring that they’re kept separate etc, etc. After a few times, I just smiled and said he is part of our family.
Then along came Sophie. Jay coped better than we could ever expected. Prior to bringing her home, we had introduced her scent as Simon had brought some of her clothing home for him to smell. When we walked in, with our little bundle in her car seat, he was so excited to see us, thankfully we had waited to bring her in until we had said our “hellos” but once we did bring her in, he gave her a quick sniff and then carried on as normal. It was almost an anticlimax.
As she has been growing, Jay has shown his true colours as a loyal, protective, patient and loving dog. He regularly navigates floors filled with toys, has been covered in flour during a particularly messy messy play session, has been ‘stroked’, put up with untold levels of noise, has been dressed up and more recently, has been patiently participating while Sophie demands that he sits or rolls over (as long as he is rewarded with a tasty treat!)
At the point of having a dog and a baby, there were a few adjustments, but Jay’s life didn’t really have to alter too much. We still managed to road trip fairly regularly (albeit a bit of a squash in the car!) and as Sophie was an excellent sleeper we still managed snuggles on the sofa in the evening as normal.
That all changed when Albie came along, now there is no space in the car when it is filled with both car seats, the pushchair and whatever other paraphernalia we have to bundle into the car to keep 2 babies hygienic, fed and warm. Jay now has to put up with purely local walks, thought he is pretty lucky as we live within walking distance of some pretty lovely places for a stroll!
Still, not as much fun as a road trip to the coast… He has also sacrificed some of his usual snuggle time, as much of our evening has been spent going up/down the stairs, attempting to get a sleep resistant baby to do the impossible.
Despite the changes Jay has remained ever patient and loving. I feel for him now though, as Albie has made his intentions quite clear and once he becomes mobile, I think Jay will have a new shadow…
The main change I noticed with Jay is his protectiveness. He has started barking when there is someone at the door – unless I just didn’t notice this before? It’s VERY noticeable when you have just put a baby down for a sleep though… The other thing is he has always been wary of other dogs, but since having babies, he has no tolerance at all (it may just be that he’s getting old and cranky… though Simon doesn’t seem to have any problems as when he walks him alone, Jay will ‘warn’ other dogs, and will never actively socialize with other dogs). If a dog comes near, especially if it is bigger than him, he will snarl and snap. On two occasions when I have walked him with Sophie and Albie in the pushchair, he has ‘attacked’ other dogs. I know I should have learnt after the first time, but at the time it was so out of character.
Now I keep him on the lead, unless there is literally no one else in the park (and watch all entrances like a possessed hawk), I do let him off if I feel I can as to Jay, it’s not a walk unless he’s chased his ball! His behaviour around other dogs makes me seem like a very antisocial person, but I feel so anxious that I tend to steer clear of anyone with a dog. Sophie has witnessed Jay’s reaction to dogs, and as a result is continually trying to reassure Jay and is very wary of other dogs herself (not necessarily a bad thing I suppose). The worst thing about walking him though, has got to be other people walking their dogs. I was prompted to write this blog after a particularly frustrating time that we had this morning – we walked (painfully slowly as Sophie insisted on ‘helping’ me to push the double pushchair) to our local park, I immediately spotted other dogs so opted to keep Jay on the lead, there was a man sat on the bench in the MIDDLE OF THE PARK with his Alsatian off the lead and going where ever she pleased. His dog started heading over to us and so I politely shouted to him to call her back, which he did, but she kept following us and he still just SAT THERE, this is like my idea as a nightmare as I had to plead with Sophie to return to her seat (not easy) and speed away, all the time with the Alsatian hot on our tale. I knew what would happen if that dog came near, I didn’t want to risk it, so when I requested, again, for him to call his dog back and he did (still just sat on the bench…) but she kept coming, I decided we would have to leave. And walk to the other park over a mile away, great. Got me plenty of steps on the Fitbit though, so shouldn’t complain…
These things are the only things I’d change about Jay (apart from the ridiculous levels of begging whenever anyone eats anything), as he really is the most lovely dog ❤
Though having a dog and 2 babies has its challenges, I stand by the feelings I had when I was pregnant first time round – Jay is part of our family and he makes our lives more fun: we always have at least one trip to the park per day, he is all kinds of enthusiastic to see us if we’ve gone out without him and I never have to clean up any of the food that gets launched from the high chair on a regular basis! (Raisins and malt loaf now firmly off the menu following an emergency trip to the vet after Jay ate an entire malt loaf off the kitchen work top..!)
Jay does put up with a lot, but I think he is more than happy to do so (especially when food regularly falls ‘from the sky’.
Being a Bumbler 